Yogyakarta, June 28th 2021.
The sad story was created by two souls who fall in love, not even finding the word "lasting". The expectation of being the one seemed too far away. Just being friends was already that fun. If it wasn't for him, the definition of "the love could be that strong actually" would be meaningless. I really want to turn back time. Enjoying every second of conflict, his deep eye contact, laughter, happiness, and even the wounds I spent with him. With a string of dreams and a million views about the future. But then I realized, "losing you was the answer we needed".
However, it slowly disappeared so painfully. Overcome by feelings. The feeling of love was forced to disappear. Completely lost in an unimaginable distance of time. He once said that the little girl was quite stubborn. Even though yes it was true. There was no need for any other reason to stay there. We were dissimilar. United by the chance. Separated because the dream was still far from reach. Yes, it was incredibly far away. Convinced sentences about togetherness didn't work at all. Everything was gone like our story. Perfect with no leftovers. I hope he'll always be in the goodness :)
It was a hard one to get used to without it. It made me sick by knowing the current situation. The fact struck me that he was still comfortable in a safe zone. I didn't want to be bothered by the presence of a woman just like me. Him? well, he was fine at all. In contrast to me here who laments the silence. I used to put shame on the side just to find out how it was. I contacted his close friend, his classmate, and was still unable to shake off this concern. In the past, when I still had "opportunities", there was nothing more comforting in my heart than seeing him in good condition. For every long trip, the term "souvenir" becomes my top priority. I always begged for a "gift" of confirmation that he was here. Reach his destination and return home safely. I need that. But he'll never know.
(The building - tap to see it clearly)
now.
Is it okay? one more year these buildings will bear witness that an innocent and happy story had blossomed. Currently, each of us has found our own happiness. I used to be heartbroken, but now it's like I don't want to know anymore. Now, the little girl is no longer sad. She'll find a friend, a new best friend, or "the ones" who will accompany her on the next journey. In the end, fictitious writing is not fiction. A true story about a heart that has experienced enough loss. It's all enough here. What a blue ending, hoping that time will return it as perfect as before. Goodbye (playlist of June) Spotify. I will remember you on a canvas full of poetry. Melting your good and bad memories in a timeless masterpiece ~ the little writing.
Written by Yustina Permatasari
To him. A man with a rhythmic abstract mindset that is hard for me to read. A man with one main door -- that still didn't want to open -- till now.